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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23290654">Man of Pleasure</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx'>xslytherclawx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Dildos, Hermione's Nook's Cards Against Muggles Crack Fest, Multi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:08:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>591</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23290654</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The lesser known Fourth Brother brazenly asked Death for enchanted dildos.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Cards Against Muggles Crack Fest, xslytherclawx's Prompt Collection, xslytherclawx’s events collection</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Man of Pleasure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Another one for the Hermione's Nook Cards Against Muggles fest!<br/></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Modestus watches as his brothers each, in turn, receive their gifts from Death. He can tell that Ignotus is wary as he requests something to allow him to leave the riverbank unfollowed, but he hardly pays any mind to that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Death appears to ready himself to leave when Modestus, stepping out from behind his log (he is, after all, not as stupid as his brothers), stops him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perhaps he </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> stupid, but if all three of his brothers are receiving otherworldly gifts from Death, he hardly thinks he should be overlooked. He is a Wizard, after all, and he deserves a gift, too. Especially as he was clever enough to run and hide for cover as soon as Death appeared, which is more than can be said for any of his brothers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Modestus is aware that he’s rather a coward, and that he would have never been a Gryffindor, but he hardly thinks he can be faulted for that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about me?” Modestus asks, drawing himself up to his full height.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Death gazes upon him, which is heretofore the most unsettling experience Modestus has ever endured. Perhaps he might have been better off behind his long, but it’s too late for that now. “What do you wish?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Modestus can think of a great many things which might be useful. Though he is a Wizard, and, as such, possesses the ability to create a great many things, he knows that there exist magical things he is yet unable to create himself. There are even limitations on what a human can create with magic. He is, at the end of the day, still merely human.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He does not believe that Death has any such limitations. Death, after all, is Death.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows that Antioch, a Gryffindor to the core, is boastful, combative, and violent, so it is no surprise that he requests a wand whose owner cannot be defeated in battle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows that Cadmus, a Ravenclaw who holds himself as the cleverest wizard of their age, has been unable to cope with the death of his beloved, so it is no surprise that he requests to bring her back from the dead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows that Ignotus, ever the Hufflepuff, avoids conflict even when he sews the seeds, so it is no surprise that he requests to leave the crossing without Death being able to follow him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So what is it that Modestus desires?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s quite a simple man, really. He’s not combative, like Antioch. He’s able to accept reality, unlike Cadmus. He refuses to avoid the inevitable, though Ignotus would love little more than to avoid the inevitable forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Modestus is, above all, a man of pleasure. A Slytherin whose chief ambition is experiencing the greatest pleasures this – or any other – world has to offer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After careful consideration, he requests of Death an object to bring him a pleasure greater than the greatest thus far known to man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Death fashions it from the sand on the shores. It glows as he shapes it, and when he hands it over to Modestus, he can see quite clearly that it is a phallus. A perfect, rather large, glass phallus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Never let it be said that Death doesn’t know what you want, though Modestus feels a bit disappointed with the result.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How, exactly, this is any different from what he could fashion himself, he doesn’t know. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He supposes he’ll just have to investigate when he gets home. Perhaps with a partner or twenty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After all, such a gift from Death is not to be discounted.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p></p><div class="center">
  <p> </p>
  <p>    <span></span><br/>    <br/>  </p>
</div></blockquote></div></div>
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